Eric E. Nagel

recent posts

  • System Failure

    Their story seems to have gone by the wayside. The anger, the rage, the quest for truth, and the pursuit of accountability has subsided. Why is that? Why does it appear that the world has moved on? I suggest that this is by design. The current administration does not want you to know what is truly taking place. They do not want you to understand the gravity of their acceptable collateral damage, their shameful under-estimation of what a human life is worth. They want you to question your own eyes and doubt your reasoning abilities. This is accomplished with a rampant flood of hand waving distractions and a bombardment of false narratives.

    We all suffer the consequences when there is a system failure. The collapse of a system does not occur because of one individual, it happens when the apparatus becomes rotten from the inside out. The framework and shielding disintegrate when those that have found themselves in power begin to commune at the alter of corruption and greed. It is clear that fraudulently is how they choose to speak, with spitefulness is how they choose to act, and full of hate is how they choose to live.

    Those that stand up, speak out, and fight against system failure should always be remembered because they are the ones that are the decent patriots and that lovingly care for their fellow human beings. Those of us that remain must hold their deeds in the highest regard and demand that justice be served for all lives that are oppressed.

    A poem: system failure

  • What Happened to Us?

    Below is something that I wrote several weeks ago…and I’ve been sitting on it for some reason. At the time I believed that it was too harsh and that I did not want to express my true feelings to the internet. As I have continued to think about posting from two weeks ago, I decided that it really isn’t harsh at all (honestly, it should be much more scathing) and that I can stand in my own truth. My thoughts below, as it turns out, was the framework for a poem that I am working on. I’d say it is approximately 95% complete, or rather 95% in a state of acceptability. Currently, I am sorting out how it should end. I am trying not to force the words…I want them to be what they are, unadulterated and raw, Once complete, I will add to my collection of verse.

    Another fresh wound has opened causing yet more division, more hatred, more lies. How have we come to this place in history and more importantly why are we letting them white wash and re-write history right in front of our eyes? Do they think that we are stupid? Do they think that we are not observant to all that is happening around us? They have contempt for us as they clearly know what they are doing and they would rather let fly a middle finger than lend a helping hand. I have a focused understanding that these people are not dumb, they are just sadistic. Our society has lost its way and it has become obvious that it can no longer stand…it must collapse, we must re-build.

    Sometimes I feel like I am sleep walking through a horrible nightmare, unable to wake. The fact of the matter is that this is the new, scary reality that we must face. Facts can not be denied, but they can be lied about. What happened to us and where do we go from here? Evil has no conscience, no moral bearings. They claim the higher ground, that they are making America great (again?), by making us safe with unjustifiably murdering citizens in broad daylight. I feel helpless, like my voice is not going to make a difference in a post-truth world. Do words even mean anything anymore? Are we able to hold accountable those that break laws that they themselves enact? All I can say is fuck these goddamn ghouls.

    There are two sides of history.

    Those with their boots on our throats are on the wrong side. Those that say “trust me” at the same time that they lie to you are on the wrong side. Those that abuse with dominance are on the wrong side. Those that don’t give a shit about you are on the wrong side. Those that light the fire, hand you a gasoline can to put it out, and then blame you for causing it to spread are on the wrong side.

    Those that oppress unchecked authoritarian rule are on the right side. Those that love and cherish their fellow human beings are on the right side. Those that offer a hand up to others are on the right side. Those that desire the best for all individuals are on the right side. Those that believe that not all aspects of life should be monetized are on the right side. Those that share knowledge and foster growth for all are on the right side.

  • Creative Writing Prompt #02

    The follow creative prompt was borrowed from readpoetry.com. All credit and thanks go to them.

    Listen to one of your favorite songs and write a poem directly after based on the feelings and emotions it brought about in you. Let music inspire poetry.

    What a great prompt and an exciting way to explore your emotions around a song that resonates throughout your entire being. I am easily moved by music and I always have been.

    I have based my poem on the song “Still Waters” by Logan Hill. In simplistic terms the song describes a mans journey of struggle towards a peace that can only be found inside.

    Mine has been a struggle of figuring out who I really am and coming to acceptance of what I have found and what I will continue to find. Just today I was thinking about what it means to be “home”. I had a vision of what I thought that meant, but I have discovered that what I long for is not something that lives outside of me. I attributed my inner peace to someone else. And it hit me this morning that they have been enjoying the view that is really mine…sitting at the banks of still waters.

    My poem is title: home

  • My Voice

    I have been struggling with the uncertainty to use my voice which has recently been unearthed. The fear that I face when it comes to my voice is being seen for who I really am. All of my life I have been told in one way or another that I am to swallow my emotions, to squash my true feelings, and to dash away any thoughts that don’t fit the mold. With the modeling that my family unit constructed, I have lived a lifetime afraid of speaking up, of standing up, of offering my opinions. I felt that I was not good enough and that I was not smart enough to participate in the normal process of human interaction. How do I speak my truth when I have been told to remain quiet and to not be a nuisance?

    Thanks to the effort of self-improvement that I have undertaken over the course of the last couple of years, I have finally decided that I can no longer hold on to the burden of what others may think about me. My voice has been aching to be unhindered, set free to experience what it truly means to be. I’ve turned inward to reflect on who I am, I’ve found a creative outlet of watercoloring, and I have taken up reading as a nighty habit. In sum, all of these avenues of growth have pushed me from the dark corners and shadows of my existence into the light of who I have always been.

    I feel unsettled and angry about what I am seeing in our country today and to be honest, I just don’t know what to do. About a week ago, I happened to see a short video clip from a content creator that I enjoying watching. They are in the same spot that I find myself in. However, they offered insight that has proven to be very impactful. In short, they said ‘to sit in silence is to sit in privilege’. I hear these words and I feel these words. So here we are…the time is now to use my voice to speak the truth, to fight for intrinsic rights, and to resist the oppression of human beings.

    In this very moment there is so much chaos and turmoil in the world. Presented before us is a sickening blend of blind devotion to a narcissistic dimwit and the reckless abandon of law and order that has thrust human decency into a post-truth timeline. We are now trying to make sense of an age in which words no longer hold their meaning. Armed goons void of any reason, self control, or empathy have put on masks, brandished weapons, and taken to our cities to induce hate, incite riots, and to spark terror in hearts and minds. The kidnapping and murdering of innocent people in the streets without the concern of accountability has destroyed any remanence of sanity.

    I am not able to continue sitting idle with my privilege, hoping that these horrors and atrocities will simply pass. We have crossed into uncharted waters and I worry that we will not be able to find our way home. Right now and more than ever, we need unity…we need solidarity…we need each other. I stand for all those lives that have been taken unjustly, I stand with all those that have been caged without due process, and I stand by those that are petrified to leave their home, afraid of being disappeared.

    I offer my voice to those that are voiceless.

  • Life

    There is nothing like a medical emergency to make you think about life differently, to make you feel differently towards others, and to experience a whole host of emotions that you might not typically be familiar with. This is what happened to me this week, not the medical emergency, but dealing with it and being effected by it. The details of the situation do not really matter here and the individual that was directly impacted by the medical issue is, by all accounts, back to a state of “normal”. However, for about a 12 hour period of time, I was to believe that something severe had overtaken this person’s life. This, as is expected, would drastically alter the course of the lives of all those involved.

    My first thoughts drifted into the “how soon can I get there” mode. I had started crafting my plan…how am I going to deal with the work situation? Am I going to drive or would it make more sense to fly? If I drive then I have more freedoms in my travel, if I fly then I just end up being a burden on everyone else. My initial line of action was to think through all of the logistics. Very clinical, very straight forward, very cold, very much a left brained approach to the news that I had just received.

    Then the worry sets in as I lay there waiting for a phone call to provide a much needed update to the lack of optics that I had on the situation. Panic swirls about and my thoughts pay a game of “worst case scenario”. Perhaps the mind goes to the dark side of an emergency so that it can construct a framework of ‘bad’ in order to protect you from you when the brunt force of terrible news is presented to you in this reality. Some relief was given when the phone call finally came through, but it did come with a price…more questions than answers.

    The night was full of sleeplessness. My mind would not settle as more ‘what if’s’ and ‘could it be’s’ started to mix company with questions such as ‘how do I truly feel about this situation?’ and ‘how am I feeling towards this specific person given our history?’. I do find it interesting that I clearly know what I wasn’t feeling…the suffocating sense of obligation. That word, obligation, is choke full of baggage and does, indeed, mean different things to different people. For me, it oozes of “just because”. This seems to have been ingrained in me from birth, but I have since learned rise above that hook and honestly evaluate how I want to show up in events as they unfold.

    The morning brought yet another phone call with very positive updates. The doctors have given the all clear and yet a mystery remains. What caused this medical emergency and what did all those helping them see as to escalate them from a small town ER to a more sophisticated medical facility in a bigger city? There must be some reason, but it is doubtful that we will ever really know what triggered this reaction chain.

    This has all given me pause, it has slowed my thoughts down, and it has made me take stock of what truly matters in this life. We are all humans and our time here on this planet we call home is finite. We will all cease to exist one day and given this fact, the choices that we make while living in this realm hold meaning for ourselves and for all those around us. We have to make choices as though our lives depend on them, because they do. I choose to show up with care. I choose to show up with compassion. I choose to show up with empathy. I choose to show up fighting for my fellow human beings. I choose to show up as my authentic self.

  • I Remember

    Knowing and actualizing are two very different things. I know that writing every day is extremely beneficial for a whole host of reasons. The truth is this: writing this much has become a struggle, an unexpected challenge. I am always looking for some source of inspiration to keep me in the mindset of writing, looking for an excuse to write. At times, I feel like a fraud…wondering what it is that I even have to write about. Who wants to hear what I have to say?

    To help move through this funk of sorts, I have turned to Natalie Goldberg and her book “Wild Mind, Living the Writer’s Life”. This is a book about the writing practice and has started to fulfill my desire to be inspired. Just beyond her rules of writing practice, the first warm-up exercise can be found. In short, we are to explore both the positive and negative sides of simple “I” statements, such as: I know / I don’t know, I am / I am not, I want / I don’t want, or I feel / I don’t feel. I selected her first suggestion: I remember / I don’t remember. The instructions are easy enough…follow the rules and for each side of the “I” write for 10 minutes (timed with a stopwatch).

    Here I am openly sharing myself to whoever pauses long enough to read these words, and to be fully transparent this does feel very freeing and therapeutical for me. The following is what I wrote…mostly unedited from the original jotting in my journal. Thank you for taking time out of your day to witness these words. If anything here moves you, please share in the comments.

    I remember those times when life seemed to be so very simple. The smell of freshly cut grass, the calm, cool breeze that takes the edge of the heat of the day. Things were just easier then, as a child there were no worries. I could run and play all day and I was unburdened of rules and only the sense of wonderment of what I might get into next propelled me in a hundred of different directions. I just did whatever. I remember how free I use to feel, how free we all use to feel. These are the times that should be with us always. My mind wanders at the thought of what if. What if we could be free as we were as children? I remember how it was to walk to school, to be in school to learn. I remember when I was full of emotion, long before the dregs of society discouraged me from feeling. There was an air of lightness that carried me through each one of my days. It was as though I was floating in the ocean, drifting along in the most pure of ways that curated only the finest in meaning and connectivity. I remember being shown the path and being held with the utmost care. I remember the warmth and I remember the love.

    I don’t remember my childhood at all. There is nothing for me to recall. I feel as though the years that I spent disconnecting from this realm significantly damaged my ability to see into my past. This makes things difficult as I am trying to better myself, to grow into an authentic being. I don’t remember the bad times when I caused trouble or got into something that I should not have. I don’t remember the good times either. All of those lines above are made up….those are the memories that I wish I had. I am trying to re-construct a life that I simply can not recall. This dark shroud has been wrapped tightly and it covers every part of my essence with a layer of regret. As much as I try to push it all aside, it seems to be a permanent fixture in my mind. This blackness plagues my desire to remember who I was. I want to remember so that I can learn and so that I can sooth those parts that have been hurt. I don’t remember the love, it feels lacking in all of my experiences. I don’t remember the warmth that I so long for. Mine is a chill to the bone, a loneliness that has frozen every aspect of who I was. That cold still remains in my heart.

  • Look Inward

    I have been trying to stay off my social media accounts as a matter of self-improvement as well as self-preservation. Granted, I do not have that many accounts, but the sucking vortex that is doom scrolling has become a self-acknowledge problem. Hundreds of literal hours of my life have been wasted chasing some dopamine hit from a digital drug. One of my goals for 2026 is to grow as a human being…as an artist, as a writer, and as a reader. In order to accomplish this, I have to turn focus towards myself…I have to look inward. Now is my time to re-direct all of those lost hours back into myself…I must regain the control that I so easily and mindlessly relinquished to others.

    Before my stepping away from a zombie-like shuffling through post after post, I did come across one blip of insightfulness that I would like to share with anyone that may read this post. A random individual posted themselves reading a list of 18 sentences that gave them “chills” and, honestly, stopped me in my tracks. As I push into a new way of being I am taking the time and energy to reflect on all of these in a meaningful and heartfelt way. There are several that have taken up residency in my mind because of their intrinsic truth. It is amazing to me how words on a page are powerful enough to stir the human spirit in ways that nothing else can.

    Listed below are the 18 sentences that this individual offered up on Instagram. I do not believe that they are the original author of these words, but if they are I cite them with full credit.

    • There are graveyards full of people who thought they had more time.
    • Discipline is nothing but self-respect at the highest level.
    • Somewhere, someone, is searching for you in every person they meet.
    • You get 4,000 weeks if you’re lucky…stop waiting.
    • Your fear of looking stupid is holding you back.
    • You survived too many storms to be bothered by raindrops.
    • Stick to the plan…not your mood.
    • If you have to tell them to help carry the bricks, they’re not the ones to help you build.
    • Imagine trading your protentional for comfort and calling it happiness.
    • All the limits are in you head, remember that.
    • Maybe the boredom you feel now is the peace you were asking for.
    • You’ve grown into someone who would have protected you as a child. And that is the most powerful move you have made.
    • Never sleep on the idea that visits you daily, that will be the one to change your life.
    • You’ll never fix your future if you keep negotiating with you past.
    • If you must fall, then fall. The person you will become will catch you.
    • Your progress doesn’t have to be seen, congratulated, or validated by others for it to be real.
    • Don’t be scared to start over, you might like your new story better.
    • Stop shrinking to fit into places that you have outgrown.

    I sit here holding on these words as though my very existence depends on them. So, here is my plan: I am going to take each sentence and expound upon them with my thoughts and feelings. I am seeing a multi-part posting involving the list, so please bear with me as I open up and share with you all the journey of who I am becoming.

    There are graveyards full of people who thought they had more time.
    This first sentence just came out of nowhere, it blindsided me. These particular words, assembled in this specific way, have haunted me my entire life and I didn’t even know it. It hasn’t been until recently that I have been able to sit with the ugly truth that is ‘wasting time’. I have practiced many different ways of wasting time throughout my life, so I won’t point my finger at any one particular culprit, but the beginning of this post clearly indicates my current source of blame. I seek knowledge by continuing to take deeper explorations into the understanding as to why the wasting of my time has taken place. Long story short, I needed to numb the pain…I wanted to not feel. This, as expected, always comes at a cost….mentally, physically, and emotionally. During the course of 2025 I came to a crossroad and I told myself that I needed to make a decision, I needed to stop wasting time. Clearly, I know that time, as it relates to the human condition, is a finite resource. I want to live all of the moments I have left not regretting the moments that I have wasted. This is a mindset shift that I needed to make to ensure my own longevity. I have beaten myself regularly for many years, blaming myself for the position that I sunk in to. Now, the love that I found for my authentic self has enabled me to take action, to honor my worth, and to express my value. I am choosing to make the most of my time.

    If any of these sentences strike you as profound or sweep you up in an emotional wave, sit with that feeling and experience it in your body. If you are impelled to do so, please consider leaving a comment with your thoughts.

  • Creative Writing Prompt #01

    Write a poem without the letter “E”. Simple!

    According to Thesaurus.com, the most common letter in the English language is “E”. So, let’s get creative and write a poem that is void of this prevalent letter. This might seem hard at first, but restricting the use of letters as a writing exercise will expand your vocabulary artistry. The main goal here is to have fun by exploring and stringing together words not typically used. If you are so inclined, please share your poem in the comments.

    My poem is titled: growth

  • Happy New Year

    Happy New Year to all those that are reading this post in the future. I have not made any resolutions for myself this year as I always seem to struggle holding myself accountable with such things. Based on a podcast that I listened to last month, I have decided to set “goals” for myself. What is the difference between a goal and a resolution you may ask…well, a quick Google search says: A resolution is a broad, firm declaration of intent (e.g., “I will get healthier”), while a goal is a specific, actionable plan with steps, timelines, and metrics to achieve a desired outcome.

    Ultimately, I feel as though I need specific, actionable steps in my life right now. This is how resolutions have failed me in the past…a declaration of intent typically does not have action items associated with it. In this way a resolution, to me, seems like wishful / hopeful thinking.

    Content note: I am going to do some creative writing prompts / challenges throughout the year. I have been struggling with keeping up the momentum to write. I hate that disconnection between thoughts and writing. So, I want to put myself out there, getting outside of my head and outside of my comfort zone. This is an exercise that I want to take on for myself, but if you are inspired to contribute your thoughts, please do so by commenting on this post or any future posts that are themed with creative writing challenges.

    My first creative writing challenge actually materialized last month. A user on Substack by the name of Scott Symz offered this as a writing prompt: “Use 7 words only – write a story about being accepted for who you are.” My response was immediate and I was very happy with the way that I was able to string together the words that convey just how far I have come in my own personal mental health journey…

    finding myself
    perfectly intact
    loving myself
    explicitly

  • Future

    Much has changed over the course of a year and much more will change as I embark on my 51st orbit around the sun. I have been slowing discovering who I am and what it means to be me. I am not what I once was…a shell of a person, not knowing which was up in my own inner world. Through growth points and shifts in perspectives, I have progressed towards the individual that I choose to be. Far too long I have been adrift in a world that was not mine, wondering strange lands in search of a place called home. My compass now spins in wonderous directions that I was aware of, but too scared to dare explore. I have come to learn how to keep an inner calmness and balance. This can be difficult at times, but centering is the grounding stone of the authentic self. Instead of worry, stress, and strain I have reached out and embraced self acceptance, confidence, and peace.

    I choose me…I choose the change horizon.